Miranda’s Daily Blog: Day 26
Last night I had a terrible dream. I was standing there when suddenly something dropped out of my jumper to the ground. I looked down and it was a spider. I didn’t care and everyone was very impressed with my nonchalance… They all thought I had become very brave or just very in tuned with nature. Then I heard something else drop to the ground- I looked down – another spider. I wasn’t feeling so casual about the situation any more. I pulled up my jumper and there were hundreds of spiders all crawling around in there!! Oh my god… I screamed so loud!
When I woke up I wondered what the dream might represent? Hmmm…. while I was pondering this question I couldn’t help but feel a bit creepy. Every little twitch, every little movement of clothing against my skin…. made me squirm. Suddenly I couldn’t help the urge to make sure that there wasn’t spider infestation crawling around inside my clothes! And then I saw it out of the corner of my eye and in a split second I grabbed my blanket and threw it across the ‘room’…. and let out a scream! The big spider that had been sharing my cozy bed with me seemed unconcerned!
I looked around – oh, no. I wished I hadn’t just flung it across the room like a mad man, because now I couldn’t see where it had gone. Now everywhere seemed like a perfect spider hide out – the folds of my swag, the sleeve of my jumper, the inside of my shoe…
I came out here to the deck, even though it’s raining, because it’s easier to monitor for any approaching spiders!
If it had been some other bug I’d probably be feeling excited about the visit. Why is it that spiders are so creepy? Maybe it’s their potential for poisonous bites? Hopefully these ones are harmless! I’d been getting used to their presence around here, actually. Sometimes they scatter away as I move something, or come crawling out of the rope as I un-tangle it. But after that dream… they seem creepier than usual.
I guess living in the forest you have to get used to creepy crawlies. But I still can’t help feeling a bit scared when it comes to spiders. I remember the tree sit at Camp Floz was a favorite spider hang out. Little ones that gleamed in the light of your head torch. Sometimes I couldn’t’ see them but I knew they’d been around becuase they left slithers of web, trailing its way across the tarp, around the ropes, on the platform. Yep, they’d definitely been there alright. I remember one night climbing up to the tree sit, opening the swag and seeing those little trails of silver web zigzagging across the blankets. I just couldn’t bring myself to snuggle down into the swag, with all those little spider-webs. What was I to do? Was I really going to get down because of a few spiders? I ran it through my mind – the loggers and police turning up the next day and getting through the blockade all because I was scared of spiders. No, I couldn’t let that happen. What about getting down and asking someone else to come up instead- surely there were people braver than me who would be happy to cuddle up to a spider or two? I thought it would probably be a bit shameful to get down and ask someone. Maybe I could claim a sudden bout of diarrhoea? No? Ok, I guess my commitment to the forest will just have to outweigh my spider fear. Well, sort of. I still didn’t want to sleep with the spiders, so I took my spare sleeping bag and climbed to the platform at the top of the tree. I had no swag and no tarp, but the hard platform beneath me and the possibility of rain seemed like the lesser of the two evils.
Sorry to have to break the myth of the brave eco-warrior! Oh no, now you will know the truth, that us tree-sitting types are no braver than the ground-dwellers!
Here I am once again having my commitment to the forest put to the test by these little critters. “Come on spidey” I want to say “don’t you know I’m here to save your whole ecosystem? Couldn’t you cut me a little slack and go hang out some place else on the tree for a while.” But I don’t think he really understands what I’m talking about. And I guess it was his home long before I moved in!
Posted on January 9, 2012, in Daily Blog. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
oh Miranda, you are even more the brave eco-warrior to me xx
When living in / next to the bush I’ve had quite a few experiences of having dreams about certain animals, just to awake and find them right there. It’s a special experience I think, showing how attuned we can become to our environments, even in the dream world. That said, I’m sure you’d rather go without feeling attuned with spiders in such close proximity! Hopefully the next such dream will be about an owl or a pygmy possum xxx
Love your blog and the spiders. Found this and the read seemed pertinent: http://www.whats-your-sign.com/spider-symbol-meaning.html
Wow, you are so brave Miranda – I don’t think I would be able to stay if I had too many encounters with 8 legged hairy critters that scramble about silently and appear out of no-where! Poor you!
Perhaps it wasn’t a spider, but an eleven headed beast…
There is a happy ending, but.
Everything has some meaning.
You are brave to stay, your courage is no myth
Before you criticise yourself as a woos, Miranda, think of all those big brawny Forestry guys who never set foot in the forest without a big yellow hard-hat on their heads.
Spiders represent femininity! You are protecting their home, each time you see one imagine they have come to say thankyou for all that you are doing, the fear factor will subside and you will find yourself actually looking for them…lol, good job, you are very courageous!!!
ohhhh, awful. i am the same… seemingly brave in ‘big things’ but it’s those little ones who also give me the heebedie-jeebies… i hate seeing their myriad eyes glint back in the head-torch lite 😦 ha!
thanks for overcoming your fears Miranda. you really are my hero and i pray you feel the ‘bigger’ sense of someone watching your back; and i don’t mean spiders. i mean LOVE, POWER, TRUTH, FREEDOM, GRATITUDE! it’s only fair and natural since you’re watching over the ones who can’t fight for themselves
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